The Gap and The Gain
The High Achievers' Guide to Happiness, Confidence, and Success
"Being in the GAIN is not simply about seeing life on the bright side. Being in the GAIN is about taking every experience life throws your way and using it to your advantage." - Dr. Benjamin Hardy
It was two years ago, roughly to this day, that we were driving back from Portland, Oregon (Not a place I like frequenting, so don’t ask).
To break the monotony of music, as I was 2 hours into our 5-hour drive south, I asked Nichole if she would read me at least the first two chapters of the book — to which is the title of this email / post.
I was mesmerized, as the voice of my beloved was reading, out loud, indispensable wisdom about achievement and fulfillment.
After about 30 minutes, I asked her to pause reading. I remember saying something to the effect of:
Damn… for anyone who has already done enough personally-reflective work to stay out of The Maze, this book will be a goldmine for increasing their appreciation for how much progress they’ve already made!
In other words, this book will keep you in ‘glass-is-half-full’ mode, where the fuel to gratitude celebrates further and further successes.
To me, the way to best describe it is that The Gap and The Gain is a master class on positive psychology, healthy relationships, mental well-being, and high performance.
This additional commentary, by Tucker Max, will assist you to determine if you should consider reading the book, as well:
“This book changed my life when I was only about 1500 words through the rough draft. I was reading it to give a first pass edit, but I got so upset, I had to stop editing. I went for a walk and realized: I was making myself miserable.
“I’d had an argument with my wife earlier that day, and realized I was mad at her not because of anything she did. I was mad because she wasn’t fulfilling a made-up fantasy I had in my head of who I thought she should be. I’d seen her actions from the perspective of “The Gap” between my fantasy and actual reality.
“If I looked at her actions—the same actions—from ‘The Gain,’ I realized that not only was I wrong about my previous perspective, but there was nothing to even be upset about. I was literally inventing a problem in my head where there was none. It was quite a painful realization, but totally transformative once I had it.
“If you’re already a very happy and content person, this book is probably not necessary for you. But if you’re like me, and find yourself perpetually less happy and less content than you’d like to be, than you know you should be—this book will change your life. Not eventually. Not after you make a bunch of annoying and tedious life changes.
“This book will change your life before you’re even done reading the introduction.”
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