Two 'secret sauces' for thriving relationships
We all process and cope differently - As these differences in focus conjoin themselves in an intimate relationship... I have learned two key secrets for making life easy and fulfilling. Do these asap!
A particular evening habit of mine is to run through a list of YouTube videos which I have curated throughout the day.
The binge-watching of my saved playlist usually starts when one of us is cooking dinner in the background.
Because my gal can only take so much of the genre of videos that I feel I must – absolutely must – consume... we've made a pact.
- If she's cooking, I get to start watching my videos.
- If I'm cooking, she gets to start watching her videos.
In light of the fact that the stuff we individually gravitate to is about as diametrically-opposed as our insane two-party political system in the US of A, I think the above compromise works out just fine.
For instance…
Last night, Nichole cooked up a spicy chicken fettuccine dish, and I got to watch the following short videos:
(I’ll only provide two examples each, just so you can see the difference in energy and vibration)
On Tuesday night, I cooked up my infamous fish tacos (complete with all the fixings you can imagine), and Nichole got to watch the following short videos:
At this point, you may mistake my message here to you. This isn’t to show how my go-to topics are mostly “negative” and her go-to topics are mostly “positive.”
It’s to make a grander point, I think, about compatibility in relationships.
As discussed before, there’s so much beauty, so much fuel for equilibrated balance, in recognizing and accepting polarities in our lives.
Nichole actually sees value in my interest to stay aware of the current cultural wars, and creepy social miscues happening in the world.
She also finds it fascinating how odd and weird people can be. She just doesn’t want to stew in the stories that I would put under the label of programmed “Cultural Mental Illness.” Somehow, seeing it in action ‘out there’ makes me feel saner. ;)
Conversely…
I actually see value in her interest to stay focused on animals, musical performances and the arts. I find it fascinating to feel her state of presence and calmness when watching these videos.
Sure, it doesn’t excite my natural tendency to want to “ignite” passionate discussion around current events, or point out the absurdities in minute-by-minute moral outrage (see post here)...
Nonetheless, Nichole’s physiology, focus and language is a complimentary counterweight to where mine tends to be. Vice-versa.
Interestingly, those are the three patterns which control so much of what we’re able to accomplish and BE in life.
The infamous Tony Robbins explains it well here in less than 8 minutes.
As these differences in focus (or fascination) conjoin themselves in an intimate relationship, I’ve learned two key secrets of making them work over the years.
They are:
🔒 The next part of this post is only available for my beloved Pro subscribers (5 benefits). Their support makes my bulletins possible. If you’re not a Pro subscriber, consider subscribing to read the rest of the content… and inspire me to continue creating the type of no-nonsense, actionable insight and prompts that I do.